Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
