You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
