How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
