good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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