not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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