just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
