Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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