I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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