Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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