he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
