Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
