Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I will pee on everything he values.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize