what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
