I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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