Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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