Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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