her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
