There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
