My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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