Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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