You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize