She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
