Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
