I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
