is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
