'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
