remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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