so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
