need another drink. this is the easiest way
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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