last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
