well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
