how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize