if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
