It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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