it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
