hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
