I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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