they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
