ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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