Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I need a beard to bite.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
