i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize