How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
