I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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