I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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