I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
