he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
