Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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