he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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