Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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