I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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