Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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