The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
