He is an equal opportunity slut.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
