For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
