Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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