Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize