he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
