ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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