it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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