I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
