doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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