some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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