break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
