East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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