Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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